so here i am three hours and fourty four minutes into the new year and the drama has already begun. though i do think that i am making a new friend so that is good. we've talked randomly about nothing but today we actually had a conversation that was basicly on the phone. so i'm happy about that. i'm worried about taylor though. she's still in love with emily. i can finally admit about what happened with her and it doesn't bother me so i know i'm over it now. i am very happy about that.

i've decided to make some goals for this year. i don't know if i will actually finish any of them but i am going to make goals. just because i am bored. what else would you do at 3:46 AM new years day?

1. don't let as much drama control my life this year

last year a lot of shit happened and i let it get to me. i got really depressed and hurt myself. i hurt my family and my friends. i got into pointless fights and perminately damaged one of the relationships that i had with someone who was one of my best friends at the time. i don't want to go through anything like that ever again. this year i won't let it happen.

2. lose fifteen pounds

haha i had to put this. but really. i'm overweight. i know this, everyone that can see me knows this. i lost a lot last year but i still need to lose some more. i can do it. it's just fifteen more. i just need to eat less when i am at my dad's house. i do nothing here ever. this is all i do. computer.

3. become vegetarian

this month is the one year anniversary of me quiting red meat! yay! i'm so proud of myself. though there was a slip in the summer while i was in florida...that was an accident though. i didn't realize what was in the chilli until after i ate it. but i am going completely vegetarian now. only i am going to eat seafood. haha i always have an exception it seems. this might even help me with number two, since i lost all the weight when i stopped eating the red meat.

4. get my grades up

i really slacked off last semester. i am afraid of what my grades are. i mean i was even failing art for a while there. who effing fails art? idiots that's who. it's horrible. i am such a procrastinator. i really need to stop putting things off and just do it. i need to do my homework and i need to study. i will probably fail at this goal, but as of right now i know that i need to do it.

5. get more organized

i just have crap thrown everywhere. in my locker, in my room, all over my house, in my backpack. i just need to get more organized and cleaner. no more rushing around to pick up things when people come over.

6. get rid of all the baby stuff left in my room

i have loads of stuffed animals that i don't need anymore and barbies and brats and all sorts of things that someone could probably use. i am thinking goodwill or the salvation army or something. i know that i don't want or need most of them anymore. i mean some of then have sentimental value, and i'll keep those. there are just too many and i know that there are kids out there who would probably love to have an old stuffed cat. maybe i'll give some to my church.

thanks for listening to me rant about what i am going to do during the new year. i felt like talking and i had no one to talk to. BLOG! haha i so lied about the far and few thing. after this week there probably won't be any though so it's not a complete lie.

guess who called me right after midnight. dustin did. :] i actually was thinking about calling him and then he called me. i didn't tell him that. but i was super happy when he called. :] haha i am over using the smilies. [i deleted something here too.] i just get happy. i think that's a good thing. i am so tired right now. it's four. which is when my dad told me i had to go to sleep. but i am not done talking yet.

GAH! i feel like such a freak for saying this, but i [haha i deleted it.] my dad is so great sometimes. he offered to take me with him when he takes my brother back home for a party saturday so that i could see dustin. and that he would take us to see a movie. then he added that he wouldn't see the same one. AWWW! i love my dad sometimes. he has his moments of greatness and i forget all the bad stuff. like yelling about not putting more toilet paper in the bathroom i never went in. oh well. he makes a mean homemade pizza too. :]

! you dont know the real me.