to my ancient love, i miss the old days. when we were just friends and nothing more. a hug had no underlaying meaning. it just showed that we loved each other as best friends do. i don't remember when those feelings changed, but i do remember how we did. over those months we both turned into different people. maybe we formed each other into what we were really meant to be. i can't imagine what i would be now if we hadn't had been what we were. remember when you came with my to my dad's house, and we walked to mcdonald's? i filmed you eating with my camera. i said that it was because i was bored. but i really just didn't want to forget that moment. i wanted to be sure that it was burned into my memories forever. the time i got to spend with you and we got to be who we were to each other and had no reason to hide, that is what i lived for. you and me. no one else. those times were amazing. before anyone was jealous or figured us out. before i was forced into therapy and hated by your parents; the reason unknown to your dad. i just wanted to let you know that i hadn't forgotten. and i think about them even know, especially now. i think you were my first for a lot of things. i admit now to myself that i really did love you. i've also decided you will be the only one of the fairer sex i will ever form those feelings for. us girls should stick to men. we cause enough drama between friends. i can't handle the drama we cause when we're lovers. thank you for letting me feel that way. thank you for taking me to places i've never been; literally and figuratively. we went through more than good. the worst i have ever fought was with you and my best friend. those were the worst months of my life. i have never felt so worthless or confused. just to let you know, i am still trying to move past that and let go of the anger. i haven't forgiven you completely in my heart, but i know that i should. so no hard feelings. i do wish that we could be friends again though. i miss that most. i heard about your sixteenth birthday party. i remember that we had talked about what we were going to do for yours and mine. what would happen when you could drive around that car you already had. how we could spend more time together, do more things. i remember the plans we made in eighth grade. go to king's island. our little group. you will never realize how badly i miss you. as hard as it is to admit, you will always have a piece of my heart.
