well school has started again. i really do hate it. some classes are going to be okay, like history and art. but physics/precal/english/german are going to bite me in the ass. journalism, i haven't decided how i feel about it yet. i still think i might drop it. i mean i have a shit ton of writing to do already. i'm not sure if i can handle it right now, you know? i should really be doing my english packet thing right now but it's just an optional study guide for a book that i should probably be spark noting to refresh myself on right now. though i am pretty excited for my english class. the teacher seems a little weird, but cool. i really think art will be fun this year though. he showed/told us most of the projects that we're going to do this year. i know a couple people in there too. i told sandeep to smack me if i tried to make friends with any seniors. i get kind of a lot depressed when i think about dustin not being there or melissa leaving after this year. i have a ton of senior friends now. i hate it. HATE. i don't like being left behind. it's terrible. being young is overrated. old people would dissaggree...i understand that. they're old and in pain all the time.
my mother just got here. i won't get to write about what i wanted now because she will tell me to get off the computer and go to be, or something like that. i'll probably get yelled at because delaney mowed all the grass. like she wanted to. but that's just how it is. i get yelled at because they do things that they were told to or wanted to do. i suppose i should be used to it by now. buttttt....it gets old fast.
i think that me and taylor are gonna get closer this year. she really is a cool person. i like her. :] i need friends that don't annoy me or ignore me. i hate that. taylor is a good friend from what i can tell. haha. i randomly started talking about her because i just got a twitter from her, not because she's all i think about. no homo.
i've been asked if i'm gay a lot lately. do i give off a gay vibe? because i most certainly am not gay. i even decided that last year i just felt pressured into being with her because i didn't want her to feel bad. and when we broke up i was depressed because i lost her in every way, and she really was my best friend.
can't tell that i have thought about that topic a lot can you. ;[
lately i have been super depressed. about everything. i cry just about everyday. i almost cried in school today. i want to talk to somebody about it, but then again i really don't. people don't need to worry about me. i can take care of myself. besides that they have enough worries of their own to think about.
today melissa kayla and i got started talking about birth control and i told them how much it cost at planned parenthood. kayla said "why do you know how much it costs?" i said "because i looked into it." k- "oh, why do you want birth control pj?" melissa- "just because you want it doesn't mean you are planning anything. it's just better to be safe." me- "right, i'm not planning anything." k- "what" me- "moving on." it's so funny. myra can see me having sex soonish, but she can't see dustin having it in less than five years. i think i shocked her a little the other day. i tell myra a lot. i'm not sure why. i should probably start keeping more things to myself. being with dustin has made me more open to talking about stuff with more people. trusting him should not renew my faith in other people. but my stupid self forgets that sometimes.
i haven't really blogged in a couple months i don't think. i've just been updating that list. or whatever it is. i think i could probably put that on myspace again eventually.
now i should really go and spark note or whatever. ta ta.