here's what i did this break:

Wednesday:

• went to greenwood with dustin. i followed him around while he talked to people that he knows at best buy, and bought his cd. then we got in his car and my seatbelt wouldn't work and i was silently freaking out until i got it to work right as he pulled into another parking spot to go into the mall. we got starbucks. i told him that he took my mouth virginity; through a text i informed him. we left and went to see taylor. i love her. she has my duct tape pocket and the clay heart i gave her up on her wall. we looked at pictures of dustin that are really old. she danced to fireflies and i took a video of it with my phone. no one thinks it is as funny as me, dustin, and taylor do. she and her mom went to walmart so we went to see how much his tattoo would cost at this place(too much) and then went to wendy's. he can't eat there so i felt a little bad. but i got a duck in my kid's meal so i was happy anyway. he took us back to my house. he stayed for a little while, left to get his parents' cigarettes, and then came back. i gave him a blow job. and tried to not be as awkward as i felt. apparently it worked. ha. he left and i went to sleep. i felt really awkward writing that just now.
  

Thursday:

• i woke up and did nothing. i got on tumblr until i was told that i had to go downstairs and help put things into the car to go to my uncle's house. i read a book on the way up there and listened to music. we got to his house way early. my little cousin--who is twelve or something--painted my nails. they don't look bad. i put two coats of glitter on them. they're too rough for my taste. i sat in a chair and read while my family talked and played cards in a different room. my step brothers came, my favorite one came to talk to me and told me what he was getting me for christmas to make sure that i wanted it. i learned that his new girlfriend works at a book store and gets a discount. i am going to remember that. i finished the book after he left me alone. we ate dinner, and my uncle didn't have the turkey done, only the beef. i don't eat red meat. i had three helpings of cranberry salad, big helpings. then he cut some of the not-quite-done turkey for me and it wasn't bad. there was a lot of pie. i didn't have any. i just remembered that i have pie in the freezer that is alllll mine. i went with my cousin to check on the dogs that she watches across the street. the people that live there are rich and like star wars a little too much. i found a hidden room. my step-grandma fell while i was standing next to her looking the other way. but she was okay. we went home, my sister stayed at my uncle's house. my cousin was awkward but only touched my boobs once after i told her she was a creep.

Friday:

• i woke up to dustin's phone call. he came over after working and slept pretty much the whole time. it was nice, i'm not sure why. it just was. i like that he slept with me on the couch. i think i watched cartoons. that's not really what i remember. he left and i got dressed and went to the northside and had lunch with my aunt, uncle, cousin, step-dad, mom, brother, and step-brother for my aunt's birthday. they all left and we went to see the blindside. the movies was packed and the one that we wanted to see was sold out so we saw the next one. i cut a lot of people in line so i could get a good seat. it was a good movie; it was funny. then we went to the mall. i was scared by a chinese person forcing samples into unsuspecting people that happen to walk by. i stole things. i only felt a little bad. a person in spencers told me not to take pictures. i earned ten points at hot topic. my brother and sister fought a lot. i got a free water bottle. alex couldn't come to see me while i was there. i think that dustin came over after i got home, i don't know what he we did. probably nothing. that's what we normally do. he left(i think he was there) and i went to sleep.

Saturday:

• i slept a long time. we went to a purdue basketball game. i brought a book but didn't read it like i thought that i would. i sat by an old man that said he was going to put his coat between us as a cushion. it made me feel thin, because the coat fell on the ground because we weren't close enough to keep it there. then my brother and i had nachos so i felt not-thin again as i should. someone dropped $20 but they noticed and picked it up. two people on the team graduated from my school. we drove to kokomo to see my grandma, step-mom, and dad. i found a new radio station that i like that has a contest for lady gaga tickets. it made me happy. my grandma looks good, not as sad as i thought she would be. i started the book while i was at her house; it's steven king. i didn't see dustin or talk to him much. me and emily started texting a lot. we haven't stopped since. she got a new phone and i guess that it is nice. i got on tumblr for a longggg time. and myspace too. i don't like it much anymore. not that i really like many social networking sites right now. i wrote a blog that you can't see anymore. i thought a while about what i wanted to say and didn't end up saying what i wanted to say. i am kind of doing that right now, and am avoiding it by writing a lot about things that don't really matter to anyone but myself. i wrote about dustin. i felt bad about writing the blog before that. i went through old blogs and saw that some were missing. it made me sad. i sent taylor mccall an old blog that i had written to her. i don't remember what else i did. i watched a lot of big love.

Sunday:

• i woke up at my grandma's house. i think i had a dream about texting. i missed my boo, and wondered if he would be able to sleep if he slept with my every night. not that him sleeping with me every night can happen any time soon. i went and got on the computer. then we carried in groceries and ate 'supper.' i hate calling lunch supper. why do people do that anyway? blech. me and my sister walked to cvs. it rained and everything was cold. i signed up for a cvs card and bought razors. my dad came to pick us up. he brought my step-mom. we went christmas tree shopping at menard's, walmart, big lots, and target. they didn't find one that they like anywhere. i found out that there is extreme clearance on halloween stuff at menard's if you go upstairs. i took a picture of me wearing a cyclops mask and thought that the people watching security tapes would be laughing at me. there wasn't much else up there that was interesting. my sister got a half full bottle of unopened sprite. my dad took it back and got another one. my step-mom gave me five dollars for getting my dad to go to walmart. i bought dustin a present at target and taylor a present from some guy running a booth in the mall. i got ten points at hottopic and some weird lotion on my nose at bath and body works. my dad lost on his lottery ticket. he got me a vanilla coke. i said good-bye to my grandma and step mom. i got to drive home; it was dark and raining. i went over the line once and tried not to cry. but no one was coming so it was okay. i accidentally went 80 in a 60 zone. oh well, i was just trying to keep up with the person in front of me. i quickly went back down to 67 though. i got home in an hour and a half. that's the first time that has happened. my dad told me to go the way that goes past dustin/alaine/sam's houses. sam said that she is mad at me and wants me to figure it out. i told her that i have so many people telling me things that i don't have the time or energy to figure it out so she should just tell me. she said that since i wasn't going to figure it out i'm not a true best friend. i told emily that and she said that sam has told me that a few times before. i never noticed it before. i think that i am fed up and done with all of the guilt trips and shit that people put me through. she is mad at me; oh well. if it really mattered then she would tell me what the fucking problem was. but she said that would be too easy. wtf. >.> anyway, i got home, showed my mom the presents that i got for people, took a shower, got on tumblr, texted dustin, listened to pandora, and wrote this blog. 

tomorrow i got back to school. i don't know what else is happening.

i promise not to write another one of these blogs any time soon.

this is my tumblr. ihatethelettuce

! you dont know the real me.