so the year is ending soon, and my mom was talking about a christmas card that she got from someone that was a form letter, but at the end the person hand wrote why they valued her and a memory or something. and i guess they did that for all the letters that they sent out. i think that is really cool.

it made me decide that i want to write a blog that is more or less like that about all of the people that i feel like i have something to say to.

here goes nothing.

Taylor- we have gotten really close really fast. i am pretty sure i have never become such good friends with someone as fast as i have with you. (: i want you to be happier than you are, you deserve to be. its good that you have c-webb now. he seems to treat you pretty good most of the time. i noticed that we don't really have too many awkward moments, which makes our friendship unique, since i am the most awkward person on the planet. i feel like we can talk about almost anything. plus you are genuine and say it how it is. you don't bullshit. it is refreshing. i hope we stay this close or closer as time goes on. :] ily bffle.

Dustin H- baby, we've made it over a year now. :] not going to lie, i was afraid you would break up with me a month or two into this. it makes me really happy to wake up each day and know that you are still mine. i still get nervous and awkward, but you still love me. and i love you. being around you is total happiness. i wish we had more time than what we do. sometimes it seems like we don't see each other for weeks. i guess that i won't see you until next year. wow that made me sad. anyway, you are everything i want all at once. when i am with you i don't feel worried about the future or anything. all the bad stuff just melts away. i'm excited to go to sleep with you on tuesdays, eventually. :P

Dustin L- i thought that i would never see you again after you dropped out. and if i did see you, i never thought it would be on an almost regular basis. i can't tell you how happy it makes me that we are so close again. our friendship has never been as good as it is right now. you can be a little flakey, but so can i. you are as weird as i am. no one else will wander around and talk jibberish with me like you will. lol. you really need to stop letting boys walk all over you, you know what i am talking about. you could do so much better than that. i won't bother you about that anymore, though. see you seen best friend. :]

Sam- we've grown apart this year, and i know it. it might piss you off but i can't help it. we don't do anything together anymore. you're still one of my really good friends. we just aren't as close as before. it has to do with us changing so much. i'm not the same as i was in sixth grade, or seventh, eighth, ninth, or even tenth. i don't know how much growing up you have done yet. not that i am saying that you are in any way the same as you were six years ago. but even so, we've been through a lot. so this little dry spell shouldn't worry you too much. you are still the person that i am the most comfortable around. i don't think that will ever change. i just do whatever the fuck i feel like around you without feeling any embarrassment or whatever. i don't know if that's a good or bad thing. i'll go with good. (:

emily- we have been through so much shit, but we are finally friends again. i think i spend more time with you lately than almost everyone other than dustin. you don't seem completely comfortable with that yet but i hope you do soon. i'm over whatever happened with us this/last year. its the past and it doesn't matter anymore. we've both moved on. we still make great friends. you're more introverted than i remember, but that's not a bad thing. :] and you let me have coffee even after that time at your house when we had some and then all i did was laugh for too long and loud. i really am glad that we are friend again.

alaine- my goodness! you've had some changes recently. you found that jacket in the parking lot and became single. both of which are going very well for you. ;] i don't want you to be sad about him, you will get a better boy. you're always around when i need you no matter what it is. i love that about you. and you put up with my shit which isn't always so nice. one day i think that you should just punch me in the face if i even hint at something you don't like. lol. i would be so shocked. >.< you're one of my best friends, and i love you.

tyler- you're an asshole. but its okay because you usually aren't to me. (: last year you were there for me when pretty much everyone else just wanted to rid themselves of me. it felt like that anyway. you were the only person that never made me feel like i should jump off a building. you are a really good friend. you talk a lot of shit, but oh well. at least you don't pretend to like anyone that you don't. with the exception of nicole. i appreciate your bluntness. and you really can be a sweetheart when you want to be.

seth- you are quite possibly the only person on the planet that has more awkward moments than i do. it is really funny.  despite that you are pretty fun to hang out with(: i am happy with where are friendship is right now. you are super cute. i hope that you find some awesome guy to be awkward and cute with soon. :D

ian- hey bestfriendian. it makes me really sad that we won't have any classes together next semester. :[ and probably none next year too. at least we will always have santa slam, art, chemistry, and physics. haha. you're crazy and black. the black part doesn't mean anything, i just felt like writing. i miss talking to you. we really need to hang out more. we're growing apart!

paige- i miss seeing you everyday. we have the morning and that one passing period, but it just isn't the same. at least we text. haha. that was funny. i don't really know where we stand sometimes. just know that if you ever need me i am here for you. that's what i think you would do for me.

bonnie- weren't we going to fix this? we are still where we were at the beginning of the year. i have actually been over to your house to see you a couple times but you weren't home. i don't know what else i could do. maybe we just aren't going to fix this. maybe it is time for us to say good-bye and know that we won't ever be like we were before, if we are even friends at all.

taylor m- we really have lost some ground recently. i can't get anything through your head. i worry about you a lot. i wish we could rewind our friendship two or three years and just start over sometimes. but i really don't have any worries when i talk to you, so we can talk about almost anything. that is something i don't have with many people. and i am always there for you when you need me. i think its still possible for us to fix this.

melissa- you pointed out to me the other day that we barely ever hang out anymore. i think both of us having boyfriends for however long it was is what did it. we didn't have any time to spend together. and to be honest, i didn't think you were really going about him too well. but now that he and you are done i think we will get better. as soon as it gets warm again we will be great. its my last year with you after all. it would be terrible to lose you after being best friends so long. you're a really great girl and i would absolutely hate to lose you as my friend.

there are so many more people that i could write to. i will probably add to this throughout break. :]