lately i've felt:
- like i am settling down too fast. i don't know. i'm very young, just sixteen, and i've already decided that i am going to marry the first real boyfriend that i have ever had. don't get me wrong, i love him with all my heart. i just don't know if it is good for me to want that when i haven't really lived or had any experiences yet. its just really complicated and unpleasant to think about.
- that the future doesn't look so bright. the economy keeps getting worse and worse. any of the jobs that i used to want seem to be on the fast track to being cut out of society. i don't want to be a teacher, and even if i did there are a shit ton of teachers that are being fired right now. schools just don't have the money to hire them or keep them anymore. the country is getting poorer. everything is going downhill. i am about to stop caring again. i just want a low paying job that makes me happy anyway. who needs an education for that.
- like my family isn't going to be in my life once i move away from them. they really aren't that fun to be around. i avoid all of them everyday from the moment that i walk into the door until i go to bed. spending any amount of time with them, especially my sister, makes me want to kill myself. i don't know what that makes me. i'm probably a bad person for it but i really don't care at this point. my family just fucks shit up and annoys me to death. i don't really care anymore.
- like i don't really care anymore.
- left behind.
- like i'm missing out on life and high school.
- that we're stuck in a rut and you are getting bored with me.
- inadequate.
- despared.
that's all i feel like saying right now. thanks for playing.
! you dont know the real me.
