samster,
i've been avoiding writing this. i feel like i already told you everything in that message earlier, and that i don't really have anything left to say. but i guess that i do and i will write it down here. i feel like you've abandoned me these last few months. i know that i haven't gone through anything tragic, but this time in my life is pretty major, considering that i am supposed to be choosing a college and deciding what i want to do for the rest of my life. it would really help to know that my best friend would be there to get me through the little things with ease. instead i have had to go through all that alone, plus worry about why you have left me behind. i know that you're more involved in lindsay's life now and i know that she probably needs that because of everything that she is going through. but i have been there for you through all the heartbreaks and all the fights with your family and your cat being sent away and two moves and six grades and countless other things. i just wish that you could see that i need you to be there for me too. you didn't even fucking tell me that you had a boyfriend. that hurt more than you could possibly understand. days after i even found out about him, you were having sex with him. sometimes i don't understand what is going on with you. you need to slow down with the boys and take some time to get your life together. and what is this about always being at niqi's house? it is seriously pissing me off that i used to be able to call you to hang out whenever and now i have to fucking plan weeks in advance so that you can fit me in to your busy schedule. i don't know what more i can do. if you want me gone, then just tell me so i can stop trying and worrying about it. please, just let me out of my misery. i know that we are going to try and hang out when i get back home, and that we talked on the phone today for longer than we have talked at all for months. i really appreciate that, i do. i just feel like we can't keep pretending we know each other so well when our lives are constantly changing and we aren't telling each other about those changes anymore.